END THE BEDTIME BLUES

Parents don’t need to force kids to go to sleep

© 2001 By Jim Fay

Bedtime is a time of frustration for many parents. They wish it could be a magical time

to reconnect with children and share fond memories. Here are some easy ways to make

those dreams come true:

Bedroom Time vs. Bedtime

The journey to bedtime bliss starts with renaming bedtime. Kids need to think of this

time as “bedroom time.” It’s a time for them to be in their rooms, but not necessarily

with their eyes closed. Wise parents never try to control the uncontrollable. “You get in

your bed and go to sleep, right now!” creates a power struggle over something parents

cannot control. A skilful child can keep a parent engaged with this argument for hours.

Slowdown Time

Bedroom time is a journey in itself. It starts with “slowdown time.” A slowdown routine

is essential. Children’s brains operate at a high pitch and don’t shut down as quickly as

adult brains. Parents should announce the beginning of slowdown time about 40 minutes

before bedroom time.

Slowdown time includes turning off stimulating activities such as television, exciting

music, and family games. It also is a wonderful time to give kids choices:

• “Do you want to go to bed right now or in 10 minutes?”

• “Do you want to brush your teeth in the kitchen or the bathroom?”

• ”Do you want a story first or your bath first?”

• “Do you want a drink in the kitchen or in your room?”

• “Do you want a piggy back ride or walk on your own?”

• “Do you want the light on or off?”

• “Do you want to get tucked in or do it yourself?”

• “Do you want to go to sleep right away or try to keep your eyes open as long as

you can?”